I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
