How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
