There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
