dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
