shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
