who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
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You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
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Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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