I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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