You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
