Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
