I just pynch a tree in the face
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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