jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
