Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
