She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
