I could make wine with my vomit
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
