What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
