belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
