There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
