did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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