but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
