My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
