I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
