first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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