Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
