SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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