Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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