**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
