imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize