That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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