Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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