I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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