a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
