thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize