yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am puke
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Randomize
