Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You've changed since you got that strap on
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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