dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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