hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
