I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.