I'm retarded. Again.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!