Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

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  (201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy
  Replies (97) Good night (44732) Bad night (1899)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?

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  (703): is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday? http://tfl.nu/tuui
  Replies (11) Good night (1313) Bad night (3577)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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  (817): He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night http://tfl.nu/fv27
  Replies (25) Good night (982) Bad night (7364)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  how drunk are you?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What does that even mean anymore?

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  (612): how drunk are you? (952): What does that even mean anymore? http://tfl.nu/4vkm
  Replies (10) Good night (5262) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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  (513): We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case. http://tfl.nu/f3uf
  Replies (17) Good night (3943) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

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  (705): All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail. http://tfl.nu/tpxz
  Replies (25) Good night (10495) Bad night (1723)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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  (515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1366) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (+69): View more from

  You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.

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  (+69): You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow. http://tfl.nu/jkt0
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (2082)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?

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  (914): He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right? http://tfl.nu/6yne
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure

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  (931): In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure http://tfl.nu/hlh0
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time

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  (860): It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time http://tfl.nu/gqs4
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk

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  (614): fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk http://tfl.nu/crvd
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life

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  (248): I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life http://tfl.nu/uyc5
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?

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  (305): Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention? http://tfl.nu/3cqf
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?

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  (505): you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...? http://tfl.nu/tcmz
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (332)

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