Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.

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  (843): I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina. http://tfl.nu/l94r
  Replies (15) Good night (897) Bad night (3405)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke

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  (248): Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke http://tfl.nu/ag71
  Replies (25) Good night (1007) Bad night (7571)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

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  (864): her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes http://tfl.nu/t8i7
  Replies (9) Good night (1834) Bad night (4144)
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  (650): View more from California

  Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question

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  (650): Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question http://tfl.nu/hu7s
  Replies (10) Good night (2796) Bad night (1185)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me

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  (814): i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me http://tfl.nu/y6ou
  Replies (16) Good night (3986) Bad night (1179)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

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  (+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo
  Replies (5) Good night (3683) Bad night (979)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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  (551): Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me http://tfl.nu/723s
  Replies (9) Good night (938) Bad night (1746)
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  (550): View more from

  I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

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  (550): I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas http://tfl.nu/h91s
  Replies (1) Good night (1404) Bad night (610)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

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  (314): she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now http://tfl.nu/v305
  Replies (5) Good night (2056) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.

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  (561): We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/9buc
  Replies (18) Good night (816) Bad night (2352)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".

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  (727): No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die". http://tfl.nu/gpa4
  Replies (3) Good night (1340) Bad night (634)
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  (909): View more from California

  So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment

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  (909): So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment http://tfl.nu/2pzw
  Replies (14) Good night (806) Bad night (2415)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?

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  (832): I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal? http://tfl.nu/mk58
  Replies (7) Good night (1069) Bad night (473)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover

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  (608): In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover http://tfl.nu/mvwr
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.

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  (512): I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like. http://tfl.nu/i3mi
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (442)

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