Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Why were you high on a thursday?

  (1-650): View more from California

  today's a wednesday

  (650): View more from California

  I asked first.

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  (650): Why were you high on a thursday? (1-650): today's a wednesday (650): I asked first. http://tfl.nu/enxr
  Replies (9) Good night (2602) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it

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  (904): If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it http://tfl.nu/oeec
  Replies (19) Good night (4035) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on

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  (818): All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on http://tfl.nu/912s
  Replies (10) Good night (3510) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.

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  (405): I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step. http://tfl.nu/yq43
  Replies (14) Good night (5160) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

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  (828): Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy. http://tfl.nu/roru
  Replies (15) Good night (6069) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

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  (613): ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money. http://tfl.nu/in19
  Replies (33) Good night (6061) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

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  (203): the problem with open bar is i never know what to get (781): did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..." http://tfl.nu/knqb
  Replies (10) Good night (6018) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

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  (248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30
  Replies (1) Good night (2405) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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  (661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude
  Replies (3) Good night (1117) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set

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  (925): She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set http://tfl.nu/ske1
  Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (1889)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now

  (315): View more from New York

  I see you're taking unemployment seriously.

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  (607): I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now (315): I see you're taking unemployment seriously. http://tfl.nu/5xru
  Replies (3) Good night (2287) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.

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  (337): Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE. http://tfl.nu/9lhc
  Replies (7) Good night (2991) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Hahah. They reconnected again?

  (1-707): View more from California

  Like with his penis I guess

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  (707): Hahah. They reconnected again? (1-707): Like with his penis I guess http://tfl.nu/k3d2
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

  (716): View more from New York

  So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

  (585): View more from New York

  Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

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  (585): They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years. (716): So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy? (585): Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win. http://tfl.nu/ig9q
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you

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  (412): My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you http://tfl.nu/je45
  Replies (0) Good night (170) Bad night (44)

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