My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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