turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
