my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Operation Purity has been aborted
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
