Me too!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
