I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
did i just pee glitter
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
