it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
