i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
