We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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