i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
