last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
