i think my tv is drunk
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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