fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
