The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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