Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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