weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
