It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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