The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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