Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
