Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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