I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize