Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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