I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
