I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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