On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
